of fangirling and personal ramblings~

Whew... it has been a very, extremely long time since I last updated my LJ. Since 2013?!!! Plus it was even in February! and now it's already towards the end of 2019. A lot has happened since then... I've finished med (or mad) school, been through internship and followed with a long wait before housemanship.. then been through the exhausting housemanship, and now, I'm an MO. I never thought that I could last this long tbh.. I guess it's just my luck..and with the help from many people around me... my family, my colleagues..my MOs and specialist at that time... And now, who would ever thought I'll be working in the department that I once feared of...huh...

Fandom wise, despite the hectic schedule, I tried my best to keep up with the fandom,, and even managed to watch a few J Dramas/ moveis..I even come to know and follow HSJ and King & Prince - though not as active as following Arashi.
When suddenly, that day came...

27/01/2019 - Arashi announced their plans for hiatus in 2021.. I was shocked, I was devastated... all this while, Arashi has been one of my source of comfort from all the hardships I've been though in real life, then suddenly they choose to disappear from my life... I cried so hard. I have no where else to vent my frustrations or to share my sadness. I'm basically coping with sadness alone. My RL friend that used to be in the Arashi fandom together has been out of the fandom since she finished med school..I became lonely.. I don't blame her either - our schedules were insane.. I've basically shut myself out from social media, so I don't share my feelings in FB or insta..My family members don't support my fandom life,,,I don't even have twitter at that time... so I was consumed by my sadness alone.. After some time, I tried to comfort myself by rationalizing myself - all these while, Arashi has give me and other fans happiness, and now after 20years of working their asses for their fans, isn't it the time for them to take a seat back and relax.. to recharge themselves.. Those 20years must have been so hard for them, so try to understand their situation... and slowly, I come to accept their decision. I'm sure it is not an easy decision, but thus far, they kept their words to keep being closer with their fans... they opened Twitter, Insta, FB, Weibo, and TikTok accounts to be closer to their fans.. They really try their best, with the time that's left, to keep their fans happy.. and I really appreciate whatever they had done.. they make me love them even more, 11 years loving them, and this love doesn't change a bit. Not even with Nino's marriage announcement. I love Nino so much, I am so happy with his marriage! I really hope that he is happy with his life, happy with his wife. Tbh, I was afraid if Nino will be alone till he becomes old, so knowing that someone is there for Nino, loving him unconditionally, really makes me happy.

In the meanwhile, I came across this one group, accidentally... I used to search for Micchi after knowing him from Haha Ni Naru, after which I came across to his and his group's performance in Music Fair in February - they performed Diamond Smile. There's this one line which haunted me afterwards - 'sekai ni hitotsu sa tokubetsu na sono smile'.. the line sang by Ohashi Kazuya..Because of that line, I started searching for this group.. I started to watch their old shows, their performances.. anything that I could find online.  I then watched them in Johnnys Island Festival, I started listening to their radio shows, I even started to watch and follow Ascana...I came to know Kansai Johnnys Jr... I came to know their members, I came to love them, I came to love everyone... and most importantly, I came to love Naniwa Danshi... loving them reminds me of the first time when I came to love Arashi.. They are definitely two differents groups, however they have this fluff atmosphere, the close-knit family atmosphere that I could feel with Arashi- at least that's what I feel. They made me fall for them hard.. and since then, they pretty much made me into a Naniwa Danshi fan, a Naniwa Danshi stan.. Micchi used to be my ichi, followed by Nagao, then Hassun just swiftly took the place in my heart, now he's the no 1 for me (besides Nino and Inoo). I love his positivity, his cheerfulness, his 'baka' but careful and earnest side. He is loved by everyone, and I can totally see and feel why. He is that one ball of fluff and happiness, and that kept me happy and contented.. the way he cheers for everyone... you can really feel his love for everyone.. he's a friendly person (contrary to me), he responds to everything kindly, He likes to eat, but he would later exercise, so I guess that's ok?.. haha.. he's talented - he sings and dance well, he's even one of the driving force in Naniwa Danshi (I might be a bit too much in praising him, please pardon this fan).. his talks, though it's usually kinda random, are intersting... he used to wish to be a pharmacist, however he kept his dreams away instead to persue a carier in the entertainment world... he could choose a stable job, yet he choose this path...and now he's already in J&A for 10 years... T__T I really hope for Hassun and Naniwa Danshi to succeed in their carrier.. I want them to be happy..just as much as they kept me happy...

Just like how I wish Arashi will be happy, since they have always keep me happy,
I also wish for Naniwa Danshi to be happy, since they too keep me happy.

From now on, I still have a lot to go thrugh and learn as a fan, but let me just declare this - I am proud to be an Arashian and a NaniFam, and will continue to support them!

P/s:
To anyone that came across this entry, I'd love to be friends, so feel free to follow and chat at my Twitter instead, since I'm not using LJ much... well, if only people came across to this entry...I may not be able to reply that often/ on time, I don't even have any content to share, but if you need a friend, I'd love to be one.. ^_^